Water by the Spoonful by Quiara Alegría Hudes

Author:Quiara Alegría Hudes [Hudes, Alegría Quiara]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781559367257
Publisher: Theatre Communications Group

JOHN: You’re a popular lady.

ODESSA (Into her phone, her demeanor completely changing): What? I told you, the diner on Spring Garden and Third. I’m busy, come in an hour. One hour. Now stop calling me and asking fucking directions. (She hangs up)

JOHN: Says the one who censors.

ODESSA: My sister died.

JOHN: Right. You sure you’re okay?

ODESSA: She’s dead, ain’t nothing left to do. People act like the world is going to fall apart.

JOHN: You write very Zen messages. And yet.

ODESSA: My family knows every button to push.

JOHN: My condolences. (Pause) You don’t strike me as a computer nerd. I used to employ an entire floor of them.

ODESSA: You should’ve seen me at first, pecking with two fingers. Now I’m like an octopus with ten little tentacles. In my neck of the woods staying clean is like trying to tap-dance on a minefield. The website fills the hours. So how are we gonna fill yours, huh? When was the last time you picked up a javelin?

JOHN: Senior year of high school.

ODESSA (Hands him a sheet of paper): There’s a sober softball league. Fairmount Park, games on Sundays. Sober bowling on Thursdays.

JOHN: I lied in my first post. I’ve been smoking crack for two years. I’ve tried quitting hundreds of times. Day two? Please, I’m in the seven-hundredth day of hell.

ODESSA: You got it out of your system. Most people lie at one time or another on the site. The good news is, two years in, there’s still time. (Hands him another sheet of paper) Talbott Recovery Center in Atlanta. It’s designed for professionals with addictions. Paradise Recovery in Hawaii. They actually check your income before admitting you. Just for the wealthy. This place in Jersey, it’s right over the bridge, they have an outpatient program for professionals like you.

JOHN: I’m tenacious. I’m driven. I love my parents.

ODESSA: Pitchforks against tanks.

JOHN: I relish in paying my taxes.

ODESSA: And you could be dead tomorrow. (Pause) Is your dealer male or female?

JOHN: I had a few. Flushed their numbers down the toilet like you suggested.

ODESSA: Your original connection. The one who got you hooked.

JOHN: Female.

ODESSA: Did you have sex with her?

JOHN: You don’t beat around the bush do you?

ODESSA: I’ll take that as a yes. (No answer) Do you prefer sex when you’re high to sex when you’re sober?

JOHN: I’ve never really analyzed it.

ODESSA: It can be a dangerous cocktail. Some men get off on smoking and fucking.

JOHN: All men get off on fucking.

ODESSA: Are you scared your wife will find out you’re addicted to crack? Or are you scared she’ll find out what came of your wedding vows?

JOHN: I should go.

ODESSA: We just ordered.

JOHN: I promised my son. There’s a science fair tomorrow. Something about dioramas and crazy glue.

ODESSA: Don’t talk about them. Get sober for them.

JOHN: Fuck you.

ODESSA: Leave me three bucks for your coffee cuz I ain’t got it.

(He stands, pulls out three dollars. She throws the money back at him.)

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